Friday, January 14, 2011

Who looks after you continued....

So, after you had a think about it, are you looking after yourself? I had to think about this a little and these are the strategies I have come up with so far:

  • Accepting the fact your child's success or lack of it, is not a reflection of your parenting, sometimes things are the way they are.
  • It is not your fault that your child has Selective Mutism (insert any other issue here)
  • They are not doing things deliberately, nor are they being stubborn or willful.
  • It is going to take some time to help your child to make progress and this is OK
  • Not to take on the stupid things that people say that may seem helpful to them such as "you are being overprotective (translate it is your fault), they are choosing not to talk, you need to give them some more discipline, just bribe them and they will talk, they will grow out it, don't worry, they are just trying to control or manipulate others, they must have experienced some form of trauma". I still struggle with this, but we either need to choose not to respond to ignorant statements or politely reeducate people, and be prepared this may include just about everyone you know!

Self Care

Have a good think about what you find makes you feel good, here are some simple yet they seem impossible to do tips.
  • Eat well, drink water
  • Have a set bedtime and wake up time (working on this big time)
  • Exercise regularly
  • Take a long hot bath
  • Read a book
  • Watch a movie
  • Stop yourself doing research or thinking about your child's treatment for a specified amount of time
  • Delegate the unimportant tasks to willing people around you
  • Decide what you are not able to do and communicate this to others without guilt
  • Invest in yourself, in whatever form this takes doing a course, doing something spiritual, listening to music.
  • Talk to someone about your struggles, don't be afraid to go to a counselor or psychologist.
If there is anything you would like to add, or chat about what you find hard to do, feel free to comment. This is important for all of us, we are just as important as our children and if we get weak due to not looking after ourselves, our family will suffer too, so do something about it!


  1. This is a great, thoughtful post, Kerry. Keep them coming!

  2. Thankyou Kerry. I have just been told my daughter has SM, am coping with the demands of 3 children aged between 2 - 5 and am also looking after my husband who is severely depressed and unable to work. I haven't had time to even think about myself but this makes perfect sense. I will be making an effort to think about myself as well from now on.