Traditionally this is the time of the year for New Year's Resolutions. To be honest it can be a time where we think about where we went wrong, check out our priorities and plan to make changes. Sometimes we are so exhausted we enter the holidays with not much energy only to realise the change in routine sends our kids a bit loco!
As a parent, whether or not they have special needs or not, as a wife regardless of what state your marriage is we all need to start off with looking after ourselves. We after all a major part of other people's lives. Here are a few ideas of where to start:
- Think of the basics (sleep, eat, exercise) Now don't roll your eyes at me, I know you are saying I don't have enough time, money, help etc.. The first challenge I have for you is to examine your excuse. Does it stand to test if a friend told you the same excuse would you let them off? Maybe not? So make a point to turn the TV off earlier and go to bed, eat healthier and fit in some exercise into your weekly routine.
- Think about the straw moments Think back to during the year and those moments were you had a mini meltdown kicked the dog, yelled at your spouse, child the list goes on. What were you thinking about, frustrated about, hurt about. Take those thoughts as a preventative. Think about how you can change the way you do things to avoid a reoccurance this year.
- Who are you? some days it can feel like our self, identity is lost in a black cloud of confusion. Yes there are parts of you that overwhelm the rest of who we are. But if we lose sight of who we are, we can become very resentful in the long term. So this year do something for you and only you, especially something that reminds you of a passion you once had.
- Be kind to yourself are you constantly berating yourself, I am not good enough I can never do this, I can't keep my house clean, I don't do enough with my child, I don't do enough therapy, I forget everything, I'm fat, I am not good looking. My challenge is STOP! Instead make it a practice to think about what you are doing right don't think in absolutes I never, I find doing small things to achieve the bigger goals really helps.
- Make time for relationships if you are so busy you don't have time for people you are missing the point. This year it is one of my goals is to make more time for my marriage. So if you are in the same boat. Make a change and be intentional save time and money and set it aside for those who are important to you. Treasure those who are close to you, be nice for a change, appreciate what you have. Also think small and big, don't get overwhelmed by lack of time or money. Do simple things to say how you feel to your partner and your kids.
- Stop putting of what you need to do are there things you need to do but you aren't doing them in the name of procastination? Things like health checks, to do tasks, losing weight, paying bills, planning. Procastinating is not a positive character trait it makes more stress in your life. So start by doing something today, don't put things off make the appointments do your budget or clean that room in your house that you are dreading. The sense of achievement will make you feel much better!
- Make time for faith if you have a faith, believe in God, this is part of your life so make it happen. Read your bible, pray more often (don't get overwhelmed just do it) it will make things easier and better in the long run.
- Use a diary or calendar in whatever form, paper or technical use it, it is going to make your life better not forgetting appointments and bills and dates!
Starting with you is the most important place, I know I am guilty of being so busy that I don't look after myself. You know the story buy your kids clothes and then forget yourself. Feed the kids and then snack yourself. So this year make it the year to stop being so hard on you and make the time to look after yourself. I made a point to start doing this last year and it is making a huge difference to how I feel and how I cope, but being a better person makes everyone around you happier as well. You will be less cranky, not as stressed out everyone wins! Check out Starting the year well - Making your house a home the next post!