Thursday, October 11, 2012

it's the little things

When I become a parent, I had envisioned maybe dreaded would be the correct term lots of playschool doing actions and learning songs and dancing with my kids. It sounds like such a small things and a normal part of a child's development. Whether or not it was Selective Mutism, his SPD or his BJHS it wasn't a part of our life.

At school I have memories of watching my son in the plays and seeing my outgoing loud son completely stone frozen. No expression on his face, unable to move make a noise or even an action. Even during school he wasn't able to do actions in circle time or even dance. Even at home it become something I didn't ask anymore because I knew what the answer was, or the stone silence and nothingness was not what I wanted to deal with.

Now our SM son is not our only child as our second boy grew up we noticed a lot of things especially now he is 4. He is able to dance or to do actions or to sing to music but he was and is held back a little by his bigger brother's example (another complexity of parenting a special needs child). 

When it started I am not sure, but he has been listening to some music at home by Sean W Smith and over and over again in his room as he is going to sleep. Sean W Smith is a christian artist who writes decent music for kids. I am a musician and I do have a standard of only playing decently played and written music to my kids. I don't want to torture them! :) One great thing about the lyrics in a lot of the songs by Sean W Smith is that they are strength building, encouraging lyrics that deal with the issues that young kids come across like being scared at night, dealing with bullies. 

One night my husband come in and told me he is dancing in his bed, under the covers in his bed, quite a funny thought. He is learning some of the words (which he has always struggled with) and is able to do some actions. This is now generalizing in other areas as well he is moving, well wiggling to music. A sight to see, now the task of teaching my child how to dance a little:). With school starting next week I wonder if the teacher will notice what the difference is in him.  

What have I learnt about this experience? Two things it's surprising the little things that seem insignificant that can get you really emotional 1 if they can't do it and 2 when they finally learn how to. Secondly I am learning not to underestimate the small things that can bring breakthroughs in my children's lives.  So maybe things are changing dramatically but I am stopping to enjoy the small victories along the way. Have a think about what might be happening big and small that you can be grateful for? Think on this!

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